I'm not even the person I was three years ago. Hell, I didn't even know I posted when I was with Adam. I reread it just now and... Ew. Lol.
I was just about to post, “I'm done with relationships!” As if to sound like I was flustered. But I'm not. I'm just... Ready.
Ready to be on my own again, man.
I've been with Manny for two weeks shy of two years now. Longest I've ever been in a relationship. And I've already planned our anniversary dinner and gifts. But the problems are less his shortcomings and more that...I just want to be in my own, alone space again. Literally and figuratively.
Manny is a wonderful, beautiful, sexy, aware person. But he can also be a shrewd, selfish brat when he is drunk. And as much as that is the exception to the rule...
I DON'T CARE! I WANNA BE ALONE AGAIN!
I don't want to care about having to deal with my boyfriend's problems again, no matter how innocuous or serious they may be.
Jesse, you have a set preference. And it is obvious now that no human being should be required to try to shoehorn himself into that unattainable crevice.
So do us all a favor and just... Live that life that you are happiest in. The one where you make the rules, and that no one gets hurt by them.
I love you, Jesse. Don't hurt others by appeasing to their temperaments just to make them happy, and to keep the peace.
Bye, man. I'll talk to you again after you've broken up with Manny (eek -- that is the first step I've taken past just thinking about it), and remembered how happy you are just being happy with yourself.
Reread me and talk to me soon. Dumbass.