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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Happiness Is Not The Default

I'm not sure which one I'm more troubled by: the fact that life doesn't return to normal happiness after a given period of sadness, or the fact that I forgot this important lesson.  I shouldn't be surprised, though, that I've relapsed as this seems to be the cycle that I follow now in my adult life.  It's mighty strange, though, that such a melancholy statement -- happiness is not the default -- would mark my return to normality.

I have been inexplicably depressed for the past month or two now, and how funny that suddenly, out of the blue this past Thursday, I was so easily and unceremoniously freed from that mood just by realizing that I must reach out and take hold of my happiness, because it wouldn't just come skipping back to me like a little lost dog returning home.  And since Thursday I have found that I've smiled an honest smile for the first time in what seems like years, and it's because I decided to change my attitude.

How freakin' weird is that?  And seemingly simple, too?  Again, I know I shouldn't be surprised or baffled by this "discovery", but I am.  It makes me wanna giggle.

Anyway, just wanted to jot that down.  Who knows, maybe I'll have to stumble upon this later again in life when things have me down?  Let's hope I can remember it this time, though...

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

3 Days Ago, I was Reborn

Amidst the crowd of sweaty bodies, crowd surfers, and rock fists aimed so proudly toward the sky last Saturday, I was reminded what being re-energized felt like. I've been to several concerts with Deanna and Sarah this year, but last weekend's at the Superpages Event Center in Dallas has breathed new life into me, and that's no exaggeration. It was incredible how utterly elated and at home I felt in the sea of life crashing all around and into me at the  Warped Tour. Listening to some of my favorite bands play their best songs... no, wait...listening to and witnessing fellow concert-goers belt out the same lyrics that I've spent countless hours memorizing and relating to, has proven therapeutic, to say the least.  In between songs, when the looming clouds momentarily opened up and released what they were threatening the masses with all day, I simply looked upward, breathed in deeply, stretched out my arms, and silently marveled at all that God and His unique creations offer me every day.  I am so grateful I was given the chance to enjoy and truly value this instance in my life.

I think what I also find so endearing about all of it is that it was all born out of that lovely, inconsistent little phenomenon known only as: spontaneity!  I was terribly close to declining the sudden trip, thereby denying Sarah and Ashley their opportunity as well, but I remembered that one of my greatest fears in life is laying in my deathbed saying 'coulda, woulda, shoulda'... so I agreed to go. And I believe I would be restating the obvious if I mentioned how glad I am that we went.

So Sarah, Ashley, her little dog (who so kindly dropped a plump little load in my apartment just before leaving) and I scrambled our necessities together, whipped up some sandwiches and small snacks, and set out northbound for Dallas.  The drive, like all road trips, was of course a blast as we sang along to some of our favorite tunes and succumbed to the guilty pleasures of Whataburger on the way (save Ashley, who stayed true to her diet the entire time).  Ashley's grandmother, who we stayed with in Waco the night before the concert, turned out to be the epitome of grandmotherhood and offered us a heavenly stay: clean and comfy rooms, our own bathroom, use of her computer and printer (to print our spontaneously-purchased concert tickets, which we ended up not printing), and of course fresh coffee, scrambled eggs, bacon and toast.   :)  She rocked.  :D   Dallas' populace were great, too!  People seemed nicer than San Antonians and the concert crowd all but offered their hearts to their cherished musicians.  And thank you Jesus for giving Sarah the strength to drive us the majority of the trip there and the majority of the trip back.  I had time to blog a bit from the backseat and sleep as well since I probably would've killed us if it were me driving.  Compared to SA's Warped Tour... well there is no comparison. Heh. BUT, we'll see next year if that's because of our complete lack of planning for our first go-round. The only downside to all of this was the lack of sleep, which caused me to get yet another quick but nasty cold. But hey, a small price to pay for a life-touching experience, yeah?

Anyway, let's see how far this new breath of life takes me. It's moments like these that make me appreciate all that God offers me, and also helps me stick through those parts of life that aren't so appreciated.   ;)