I ALREADY MISS YOU MAE!!!

I'm torturing myself right now listening to "Tisbury Lane" on repeat.  Not exactly sure why I chose that one to repeat, but it just really fits my mood for MAE right now.  It's sweet, longing, innocent...almost taunting.

The Goodbye, Goodnight tour last night was nothing short of a pure MAE experience.  I thought they inspired me before with their music, but their performance and their light is just something I want to have, in me.  I have sincerely been moved by last night's show and am changed inside.  I don't know how they could perform with such great, big smiles on their faces knowing it was such a bittersweet time.  But then again, if I accomplished half of what they accomplished, I'd be pretty happy exiting the stage myself.

A small part of me regrets not staying to take pictures or get autographs with everyone, but I had too much working against me: I had no one there to take the pictures for me, I had to drive back to SA to get to sleep in time for work today, and there was just a sea of people that I'm sure would've taken up all of the band's time.  But as I walked past the group on my way out, I saw Jacob and Dave shaking peoples' hands and smiling so big.  They were genuinely happy to be there in that moment with their fans and with their achievements, and I was happy just to be in the same room as them and share that same energy.

I will never forget that.

Hm. Bummer. :(

My sister stole from me today. Well maybe not today but she did admit it to me today. At first it didn't even make me flinch, but then I thought about it while she was crying to me, and now it hurts. I'm not a saint by any means, and I guess I even deserve this in some way, but dude this stings. I don't know how much she took and neither does she, but that doesn't really make a difference. I'm glad she admitted it, but only after I took out my Rainy Day jar to re-tally the amount. Which makes me wonder: would she have told me on her own? Does she care to hear what I have to say about her and the situation?

We stood outside for over 10 minutes while she told me, and much of it was silence. I felt bad her for as she told me about how ugly being broken was and having to steal from loved ones. But none of it is my problem. I want to take all her hurt and her pain away, but it's not my problem to fix. I'm already giving her a free place to stay and warm company (I hope), so how else can I help? Going to interviews for her? If it was me in her position I'd feel grateful enough for the place to stay and I wouldn't ask for anything more. She's not asking for more -- in fact she cooks and cleans often enough -- so I think we're both paying each other back equally. Therefore I don't feel horrid for not helping her any more than I already have.

I'm just thinking out loud now; trying to console myself for not taking on her problems when I shouldn't be doing that anyway. I told her that she should've asked me for the money but she knew that I'd give her a lecture and she'd leave feeling lame. But hey what else will it take for her to work harder on a better life for her and her daughter? Now I'm not sure she'll ever learn...

Dude this is so ruining my night. We were going to go knock out some laundry, get the fixings for lasagna at Walmart and stay in for a fun family night watching Scott Pilgrim vs. The World.

And now this...

:(







Bummer.