Stale

I feel so different now from this same time a year ago.  Last year I felt like I was standing at the edge of something...momentous.  Now I feel like I'm waiting, again, for something to happen to me.  Although I have been faithful to the gym, I still can't seem to eat right enough and so I have this constant hanging fat around my back, sides and gut.  And of course I've picked up smoking again, which is weighing heavily on me.  Although I'm becoming closer to Christ and learning more about living the good life, I have this alter ego that doesn't want to let go of the addictive behavior that I'm so used to.

Ugh I'm just repeating what I've been saying for weeks now and I'm so over this post right now.  What I'm mainly trying to say is: I'm reminiscing right now about the life I had with Joseph off Broadway, the feeling of awe and wonderment I grasped so much last year and I'm just plain not happy right now.