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Saturday, January 1, 2011

Forgiveness

Why do we, as human beings, find it so hard to apologize? What I really mean to ask is, why do we find it so difficult to forgive? Deanna is right, I showed grace to Kevin by giving him a valid reason for wanting to end our "friendship". So then what else am I waiting for? I so badly want an apology for the ugly things he said to me, but he made it clear to Deanna that he would not be giving such an apology.

Why not? I suppose it's because Kevin feels righteous for lashing out, but when will he ever learn that he's not the victim? I didn't feel there was anything beneficial to our friendship, and even gave him friendly advice on how to improve, yet he calls me a mean person and says he'll never apologize to me for it.

I am not a mean person. In fact, many would say that I'm too nice.

Maybe Kevin is so hurt by my true words that he's not willing to see how things really are?

The point is, I am sitting in the dark, moping about how I'm owed an apology that I'll probably never get when there's a New Year's party raging down below me.

I can't say for sure whether I'll ever get a real chance to sit down with Kevin and just flesh this all out, but...

Kevin, you are a hurt person filled with too much malice that will eventually take you over if you don't get it under control soon. I have no interest in providing you with any further guidance since I'm sure you'll get the rest on your own eventually, but grow up. Live, learn, and pass it on as I have done for you.