I wonder if I can learn to have patience and still teach at the same time? I mean I even hear Brett get fed up with them sometimes, which makes me feel less like I'm being just a crabby patty. But how will they ever learn if I don't force them? I'm sure they just completely lack any motivation to learn, but will they ever feel motivated? That's not fair to say, though, since sometimes I do see a ray of hope in their eyes, even if briefly.
Dude do I really need to think about work this hard? Should it stress me out as much as it does? I simply do not know the point where too much is just too much. I try to justify it by telling myself that the pay is great (which it is), but I'm really just not happy most of the time. Professionally, this is neither where I saw myself a decade ago or nor where I want to be headed. But so many factors stop me from reaching for my dreams. I'd rather not list them out now...because I'm a little scared of what might be true and what mighf be a valid excuse, but an excuse nonetheless...
Argh this is so frustrating! I was supposed to be motivated and pull out all the stops after Robby died but now I seem to have just fallen right back into the same lame groove I was in before.
Dang it, dang it, dang it man. I guess this isn't one of those feel-good, happy ending blogs I'm so used to writing. Maybe it's just a bitch fest? I don't feel better, but perhaps that's what this weekend will provide for me?
Oh Vegas, you better do your best. Happy 1st birthday to my horribly adorable niece. Love you all. <3
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